How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome (Really!)

“Statistically, 70% of people suffer from imposter syndrome throughout their professional careers,” explains Jillian Parekh. “Really, what it all comes down to, is just an intricate dance of trying to avoid being seen as incompetent, incapable, or inexperienced. Because, if we did, it would affirm our worst fears: That we aren’t good enough or that we aren’t worthy.”

As a mindset coach, Jill has dedicated her career to helping her clients scale their businesses with confidence. So, she’s breaking down her tips to overcoming imposter syndrome. Because, let’s be honest, you’re a total rockstar who is doing big, awesome things.

Why do you think so many people struggle with imposter syndrome?

Jill Parekh: I think it’s because we are all conditioned to believe our worth is validated on accomplishments and accolades. We spend so much time trying to accrue information, certificates, and degrees in order to feel good enough or capable enough, when in reality, a circumstance can’t make you feel different. And, if we weren’t worthy or accomplished, what good are we to the world? So, long story long, people struggle with imposter syndrome because it’s really just a surface-level label to cover up feelings of unworthiness and fear.

Some people argue imposter syndrome is a good thing because it can help keep your ego in check. What do you think?

JP: I strongly disagree with the notion that imposter syndrome is helpful, because again, imposter syndrome just breeds and perpetuates more fear and unworthiness. Sure, you may think your inner imposter is making you work harder on a project. But, once the project is finished, another one will come along and you’ll have the same feelings. Imposter syndrome is simply being motivated by fear instead of empowerment. Kind of like how the body goes into fight or flight mode to keep you safe during a traumatic event: It’s not necessarily good for you to go through those chemical reactions because it’s physically hard on the body.

What tip(s) do you have to get a healthy handle on imposter syndrome?

JP: Name your inner imposter and keep an accomplishment journal. By naming your inner imposter, you allow yourself to discern that negative voice from your own. You are not your thoughts! When we feel like a fraud or an imposter, we suddenly forget everything that makes us skilled, competent, and capable. Keeping a running list of wins allows us to go back and celebrate all that we’ve done.

What is the biggest mistake you see people make when handling imposter syndrome? How can we avoid this mistake?

JP: The biggest mistake would be identifying with your negative thoughts and thinking that they’re true. When we’re young, the subconscious mind is super malleable — we are just sponges taking in information and making it mean something about ourselves and the world. Because of this, we have a biased way of perceiving ourselves and the world. It’s so important to realize that our thoughts and opinions about ourselves are biased. Instead, we need to look at cold hard facts and evidence as to why we actually are good enough and capable enough. It’s there, we just have to look for it!

A special thanks to Jill for such an insightful and important conversation! Please give Jill some love by following her on Instagram.

Hustlers of the Week: Shanna Watkins and Ariana Berrios

Congratulations on Borne! What inspired you to launch your own label?

We were inspired to launch Borne because we felt like there was a gap in the clothing industry that was both fashionable and functional for women like ourselves, who are always on the go. We also wanted to create a fashion brand that felt deeper than the clothing itself. We wanted our brand to feel more like a wellness community that is hyper-focused on cultivating a deeper relationship with our internal, authentic selves, hence the name Borne.

What’s your favorite thing about being your own boss? Least favorite?

Our favorite part is the passion behind the Borne mission and movement, which is cultivating a closer relationship with oneself that breeds a vibrant radiance. We both felt early on that we were not made for corporate life, so we put our focus on how we could create a career that made way for freedom, flexibility, and passion. Our least favorite part is the stress that comes with having lots of moving pieces, but fewer hands. It is also hard to be self-managed sometimes. There is also a lot of financial risk in being your own boss.

What is the best lesson you’ve learned since becoming your own boss?

One of the most crucial lessons we have learned is how important it is to have effective time management and structure. It’s super easy to get stressed and bogged down when you feel like you have so much to do. Sometimes, we find ourselves getting nothing done because we are too caught up in the stress. We’ve learned to take it one day at a time, but still have a larger plan.

Borne is all about creating staples that are equal parts functional and fashionable. What is your go-to outfit for getting work done?

It was super important for us to create pieces that were versatile in functionality — meaning comfortable enough to lounge in and move around, but also stylish enough to give you that confidence when you’re on the go. Our favorite is probably our Serenity Set. It is a super cute long-sleeved shirt and matching flowy pants set, complete with a cute lettuce hem.

Give Shanna and Ariana some love by following Borne on Instagram and checking out their collection October 23.

Like what you see? Subscribe to “Office Hours with Kelsey Mulvey” here.